Untitled
by Chablis
Summary: Set during the first season, Wally deals with his personal issues, unrequited love, and a familar face.
1. The story begins, and everybody weeps

Untitled

Okay this is Chablis, and this is a fan fiction that I'm working on. It's set post Unlimited and I'm taking liberties with the story line, so you can bitch about it all you please but I'm not going to do a goddamn thing about it. Oh and its written with my own "special" brand of humor. Note the quotes around special. Well read, review, and um have a nice day? And if you have any suggestions for a title, let 'em fly.

Wally West slinked along the streets of New York City, ignoring the bums and street vendors with their mysterious wares. Yes, this was New York, the Big Apple, the city that never slept, and a thousand of other names that he couldn't remember but were probably just as tacky.

Right now he was in his true form, his real form, not the Flash, not the fastest man alive, and not a Justice League member.

The job was really getting to him. How could he maintain a social life, a girl friend(s), and when the time comes kids, when he had evil archenemies that would most likely use them as hostages, and wouldn't care if they didn't approve of being live bait of the most homicidal manner?  
And even though he could most likely break the sound barrier in red undies, what kind of dating points did that give him?  
Right now his 'mission' was to get as drunk as humanly or inhumanly possible.

He found the bar where he was a frequent costumer at and walked down the stairs toward the entrance. He pushed open the double doors and was greeted by a musty atmosphere that smelled of stale cigarette smoke, and alcohol. He walked farther into the gloom and caught snippets of sad melodies that wafted from the neon jukebox.

"What will you be having today West?" the bartender, Cain, asked in the harsh voice of a chronic smoker.

"I want as many drinks as this will get me." Wally said as he slapped a hundred dollar bill on the beer-stained counter. Cain, who was never one to ask questions when money was involved, quickly pocketed the cash, and poured the depressed red head a drink.

Wally took the cool glass in his clammy hand, and stared at the amber liquid. He gave the world a sideways grin and chugged down the frothy beverage. Now the world was good.

"You know life is a lot like a Salmon. Not a box of chocolates like that crew cut hippie said." Wally hiced as he stared at the vast amount of empty glasses that surrounded him, using all of his concentration to pick the next glass up with out sloshing its contents on the counter, and gulped it down. To hell with brain cells.

"A Salmon?" Cain rasped as he humored his clearly drunk friend.

"Yeah, life may seem all good and slimy on the outside, but inside..." he stopped and took another swig. "Inside it's all pink, gushy, and full of guts. Unless you cook life all you get is a handful of innards and a funky odor!" he smiled, proud at his observation on life.

"How do you cook life?" Cain asked, and Wally flashed him a goofy smile, and raised his glass.

"By getting drunk!" he declared and then almost fell off the bar stool in a fit of giggles.

"So life may seem good on the outside, but inside its complicated, and the only way to make life okay is to get drunk?"

"Yep" Wally said gleefully.

"That's very philosophical of you."

"What can I say, I'm a regulate Sucrete!"

"You mean Socrates, a sucrete is a cough drop." Cain said as he wondered if he should get his clearly high humored friend some help. 

"Yeah, life's funny like that. Just when you think you know what you're talking about you turn into a cough drop."

"I don't follow you."

"I hate my life!" Wally sobbed as he began to bang his head on the bar counter. Cain sighed it really was one of those nights. As much as he liked Wally as a customer, the cash was good, the things the guy did and talked about were just plain weird.

After Wally had finished sobbing about how bad his life was, he stumbled towards the jukebox, and after several attempts at trying to place the quarters in the slot, Ray Charles's "I Can't Stop Loving You" began to play. Wally then fumbled his way back to his bar stool, and began to wail along to the music.

Cain was sure that his other customers would start to use the young man as a punching bag, but luckily for Wally even though he was horribly drunk, and half way delirious he could carry a tune.

"I love some one you know." Wally said as he idly ran his finger around the rim of the glass.

"And?" Cain asked curiously.

"She doesn't love me back."

"Well does she know that you like her?"

"Of course she does, I think, maybe. Does hitting on someone count as telling them you adore them?" Wally asked hopefully his green eyes turning big with hope.

"Depends on how you hit on them." Cain said.

"Umm does sexual innuendo count?"

"Probably not." Cain shrugged.

"Well then no, but you would think that if you constantly gave her attention she would notice you, even if you are hitting on her friend!" Wally despaired.

"Well I think that you need to talk it over with your lady friend, because being annoying doesn't always register in the 'I love you date me' category." Cain explained.

"What do you know you're not even married." Wally murmured. Cain quickly refuted Wally's statement by pulling out his wallet showing a lovely woman and about five grown kids.

"We've been married for thirty years, come September." Cain beamed as Wally slunk his head into his hands and pouted. "Are you really okay?" Cain asked.

"Its just you never see GL pumping himself with alcohol to get over the loneliness, you never see Supes getting drunk in bars do you?" Wally demanded.

"Umm, no?" Cain asked confused at where the conversation was now.

"So then why me?"

"I think I need to call one of your friends over here to pick you up." Cain advised.

"Oh, like I need some alien giving me a lecture on addiction when the guy can't walk past the snack food isle without buying out the whole Oreo stock." Wally muttered.

"I really need to call your friends." Cain demanded softly.

"Fine, 555-1289."

"Okay." Cain picked up the phone, and dialed waiting for the pick up.

"Hello?" a harsh female voice asked.

"Hello, do you by chance know a Wally West? Red hair, green eyes, sort of goofy?" Cain rasped into the phone. The voice on the other line stiffened and replied.

"Yes, I do. Why do you ask." The mysterious women demanded, not questioned, just flat out threatened.

Cain gulped, woman who sounded like they could beat you into a bleeding mass without blinking scared him, but woman who knew they could use the fear that they struck in men scared him even more.

"He's down at my bar, The Blinking Eye. He is pretty intoxicated, and needs a ride home. At the moment he's on the bar counter ranting about how being drunk is deemed bad, but if your friend has a cookie addiction you just chuckle and let it slide. See what I mean the guy is losing it fast." Cain whispered out of hearing distance from his ranting psychotic friend.

"Where is he at." The voice sighed

"The Blinking Eye, 1508 Victory Street, New York."

"Fine I'll be over in twenty, please don't let him do anything stupid, or anything stupider." the woman said as she hung up the phone.

"Don't worry Wally someone's coming for you." Cain said as he patted Wally on the shoulder. Wally had now come off the counter, and was proceeding to mumble something incoherent while pausing at intervals to bang his head on the bar counter.

Shayera sighed as she went to go get the intoxicated Wally out of the bar. She was fuming, just because right now he was 'Wally' didn't give him the right to get drunk. Wasn't there a rule in the Justice League Code of Laws about being under the influence of spirits, illegal substances, and the newly issued decree, Nabisco products? What would have happened if the league needed him at the moment? Would he rush out to battle, groggily in spandex, stopping every once in a while to mumble slurrily, clutch his head in a pathetic gesture, and then throw up on his enemies? She could see it now.

'Oh no they were up against Ma'alefa'ak, where was the Flash? Oh, there he is running into the street pole. Oh look now he's going to free us from Ma'alefa'ak's evil clutches, no he's just vomiting on his shoes, and passing out near a puddle of sick.'

Shayera stopped in mid mind rant and looked around, she was at her destination. The street was dirty and the smog seemed to rise up out of the asphalt. She looked around, and there it was. The Blinking Eye, in big bright, gaudy neon letters, it shined as a beacon for the sober, the depressed, and those with cash burning a hole in their tattered pocket.  
She made sure her wings were covered by her trench coat and preceded to walk inside.

She looked around, it seemed to be the perfect place for depresses, mail men, and fat guys. She stared into the gloom and located Wally. She walked over to him, and punched him squarely in the shoulder.

"We are going home now," she hissed.

He looked up at her blankly and his green eyes seemed to uncloud for a minute. "Oh, its the angel." he shouted, beamed, and the passed out.


	2. The plot congeals, dun, dun, dun

A note from Chablis: Oh, I'm a bitch; I'm a bitch, who doesn't update when she's supposed to. Yep, dear readers I lied to each and every one of you. I doled out empty promises of regular updates, left and right. Unfortunately that was before I realized that Gov. School is hard, College applications are long, that I work weekends, and I just like sleeping a lot. So there you go, excuses by the bucket load. Oh well, I am done confessing, so on to the story. I will try to do better next time (but probably not).

It was dark and the heat burned into skin, corrupting her body and mind. She didn't want to be here, she wanted to be in paradise. Hadn't she repented for her sins? Hadn't she given up her precious earrings?

The Justice League had lied, here she was in a place that was worse then the town that feared her, worse then the stares of the people, just... It was the last place she wanted to be.  
There was fire everywhere, but it burned with an unnatural intensity, and fury. The air was humid and heavy and it hurt to breath. All around her the moans of people filled the air, people who seemed to know that they were here forever and couldn't even muster a scream. Just a pathetic moan.

And it scared her.

Scared her, the lady who could make everyone's fears come to life, was terrified.  
She was Scream Thief, nothing should fill her with terror, but this did.   
She held back a whimper, and walked down the path that was in front of her. She looked around, but her surroundings were the same, dark flame, heat, and the invisible beings whimpers.

She walked slowly making sure that nothing ganged up on her, when you're in hell you never know what's going to happen, its just one of those fact of life things.  
Then suddenly out of the flame a being stepped out. He was tall, masculine, with black hair, a beard, and a permanent smug look plastered onto his face.

"Scream Thief?" he boomed out at her. She repressed a shiver and replied.

"Yes, I am what do you want?"

"I want you to help me." He said, while stepping forward, but she shirked back, closer to the flames.

"Why?" she squeaked, her voice betraying her alarm.

"Because, dear girl, you're going to get me a soul. And not just any soul. This is going to be a Justice League Soul" he smiled, still advancing ever closer. Scream Thief found herself backed against the wall of flame. The sulfur invaded her nostrils, and she could feel the palms of her hands beginning to singe. 

"Who are you?" The man smiled as he became stopped in front of her and bent down, so his face was equal to her's.

"Oh, I thought you would be brighter then that. Isn't it obvious? I am Hades Lord of the Underworld."

"And, you want the Justice League's soul?" she asked timidly, not sure if she should stare directly at the Lord of the Dead, least it be a punishable offense. She wasn't well versed in the proper Undead Hierarchy Etiquette.

"Not all of their souls, I just need one. I'm not greedy." he shrugged.

"Umm, my lord, may I ask you why?" She flinched hoping that if he decided to strike her, she would be ready for the blow. Hades ignored her submissiveness and continued.

"I want the soul of one of the greats. I want the soul of someone 'super.' Do you know about reincarnation?" he asked sweetly, showing rows of white, pointy teeth. Though it was hell they obviously had good dental care.

"Yes." she nodded.

"The Justice League members are reincarnations of something or someone who started the whole rigmarole that is the universe. Their destiny was plotted out by birth and though, they may not know it, their souls do."

"Who are they reincarnations of?" she asked interestingly. He smiled; he loved to show off his intelligence, all of his lackeys were too stupid to appreciate him.

"Superman is the reincarnation of Zalof the god of the sun. Batman is the reincarnation of Nertok god of night. Hawkgirl is the reincarnation of Laurel goddess of the sky. Wonderwoman was Horticka goddess of woman, and fertility. J'onn was the god of health, and intelligence Faltor. Green Lantern was god of justice Kiltra. And Flash was the god of wind, and time Xtha." he said as he reeled off the names. 

"Umm, not to show my insolence lord, but I have never heard of any of those gods." she said, staring at the hulking figure before her.

"Of course you don't, that's because a) you're ignorant, and b) they were the originals who created the world and the universe. They were there before time began. See it goes a little something like this. They were around, created everything that you have come to know and love, and then they stopped being around and Chronos and his band of fun loving miscreants took over, and blah blah blah, Zeus, blah blah blah, Jesus. Do you get were I'm going with this?" he asked.

"I think so. But, what of other super heroes, such as Aquaman, and the villians, are they reincarnations too?" she questioned.

"Only lesser gods and demons nothing special. You are a reincarnation yourself." Hades shrugged.

"I am?" she whispered.

"Yes, but onto matters of more pressing urgency." he said playing off her curiosity.

"What?" she asked excitedly.

"You must get one of the reincarnations to sign their soul over to me. If that happens, I will get the power of that god, and be free from the underworld forever!" he yelled in triumph.

"How?" she asked sharply.

"What do you mean how. I get the soul of a Leaguer, and that soul carries with it residual memories as an omnipotent god like being. Ps. Try not to get me Wonderwoman's, I don't really see myself has having much use for Fertility powers. Then with that soul, I can use it as a bargaining chip to get out of this hellhole. An added bonus of my plan is that with the soul, all of the cosmos gets thrown out of line. Any way, before I send you back to the surface world, I want you to take these." he said taking out a small sapphire ring and a pair of earrings from a dimensional pocket.

"My fear-rings! But what's that?" she asked reaching out for to take it the trinkets.

"I know that you hate the way you look but with this ring," he slipped it on to her finger. Suddenly she was beautiful. Long black hair replaced the dingy pale blue frizz. Her teeth no longer jagged and crooked, resembling Kelly Ripas, then the lead singer of the Pouges. Her eyes lightened from red, to a pale blue and from the sudden weight being applied to her chest, she was positive that she had gone from a B cup to a D.

"I'm gorgeous." she whispered as she looked in the mirror Hades had pulled before her.

"All you have to do is get one soul, just one soul, and then you will be free from me, from hell. And that's not all. Not only do you regain possession of your immortal soul, but I'll throw in the fear-rings (as you so quaintly call them), and appearance enhancing ring. Agree in the next five minutes, and this deal comes with a free paid subscription to Newsweek." he schmoosed.

"I will." Hades smiled and produced a contract and a crimson red feather pen.

"Sign on the dotted line." he gave the pen to her, and she quickly signed. The contract disappeared in a puff of sickly sulfuric smoke, and he gave her back her crystalline earrings. Scream thief took them, cradling them gently in her hands before she hooked them back on. She was complete now.

"I have all the instructions here, I think you know what to do. I am sending you back to the mortal world. Every thing is in this packet its all pretty self explanatory, and the last page is a contract similar to the one you signed." he waved his hands and a thick packet of papers fell into her hand. Hades gave on last wave of his hands and Scream Thief disappeared from sight.

That was too easy he thought before letting out a maniacal laugh, it just felt right at a time like this.

And now I begin to slowly unravel the D.C. time line, destroying years and years of Justice League history like it was kind of flammable piñata.


	3. In which poor Mr Jiminy is mourned

Well here it is another chapter, and its not two months! Shocking. Well I'm just in a good mood because three of my applications are done, and I just finished watching the first season of KITH, so everything here is pretty damn good. I don't have really anything else to blather about just that this story still doesn't have a title. And that is precisely your fault, dear readers. So all of you get on the trolley, and think of some stupid name for this story. Do it now!

------------

Wally sighed and opened his eyes, then promptly shut them again. The sight before him was not one that made him feel warm and tingly inside. Actually, it made his mouth fill with bile and his face turn red with embarrassment. He was now at the Watch Tower, surrounded by his closest friends, and he had the worst hang over of his life. This was not going to end well; he could feel it in his bones.

"Flash I know you're awake. I saw you open your eyes." Wonder Woman said, and Wally could make out the hard edge of annoyance that was creeping into her voice. Soon she was going to start asking rhetorical questions, it was just a matter of time.

"Wally." he mumbled and sat up slowly, clutching his head in his hands.

"What?" Wonder Woman asked.

"Wally, I'm Wally. Not the Flash. Just Wally. Does it look like I am wearing red spandex, and rushing around at top speeds, spewing witty banter? No I am not. So there for I cannot possibly be The Flash. You savvy? " Wally rasped, as he closed his sore eyes and fell back down onto the sofa.

"Um, Wally are you okay?" J'onn asked gently as he stared at the disillusioned red head.

"But more to the point Fla..." Superman was stopped by a pointed glare from J'onn. He revised his statement and continued. "I mean Wally, is that we had to pick you up at a bar, which Shayera tells me that you are a regular at. What the heck are you thinking?" Superman demanded as he stared down at the prostrate Wally.

"Thank you J'onn for caring so much. I am not okay; I have not been okay for several weeks now. Thanks for catching on so fast." Wally said bitterly, purposely ignoring the lecture that Superman was trying to start.

"What do you mean?" Shayera demanded as she stared at Wally closely. He started to blush and he looked away, he couldn't keep up her intense gaze.

"I just have been feeling depressed lately. That's all." he shrugged, trying to make up for the biting sarcasm of his previous statement with a tone of indifference, and then realized he had said the precisely the wrong thing. By the others expression it seemed like depression was not a matter to be taken lightly. 

"Men. I bet that you're just sad because you can't get a girlfriend." Wonder Woman snarled, breaking the uncomfortable silence of the room.

"Don't go taking some "Holier then Thou" attitude with me Princess. I'm not the one who loves to go cavorting around the city in a golden bra and star spangled underpants while spewing all this female liberation bullshit." he shot back angrily.

This statement did not sit well with the Amazon. Letting out a shriek, she quickly ran forward intent on tackling her costume's decrier. That was until she found herself trapped in a large green bubble.

"Let me out right now Lantern." Wonder Woman yelled as she pounded furiously on the walls of the orb.

"I think you need to cool your jets kid." GL said as he gently placed the detained Amazon a safe distance away from Wally.

"I think I need to go." Wally retorted as he gingerly out up from the couch..

"Cool it sport, I think we need to discuss your problem." Batman said firmly placing himself between Wally and the hallway.

"No I really have to go!" Wally said a hint of urgency in his voice. 

"And I said we need to talk!" Batman firmly grabbed Wally's shoulders, and forced him back down onto the couch. The speedster, too unsteady and sore to resist, went along with Batman's demand.

"Then I am really sorry about this." Wally managed to declare before he vomited all over Batman's boots. The Dark Knight just stared out into space blankly, and everyone could almost hear him thinking these words, 'I can't kill him' 'I can't kill him.'

"See ya." Wally murmured before running to the bathroom and slamming the door forcefully. Everyone stood around quietly not sure how to break the silence that had descended upon them. Eventually Batman was the first to end the awkwardness. 

"He threw up on me."

-------Later--------------

"Look Flash, we need to have a talk." Batman said as he stared at Wally who was looking depressed and despondent. "Are you paying attention to be?" Batman asked slowly with a steely hint in his voice.

"Sorry Bats, but your smell is distracting me." Wally deadpanned as he looked at the coffee mug in front of him, what he wouldn't give for it to be Irish coffee.

"My smell?" Batman questioned, forcing his arm not to rise up and smack Wally across his face.

"You smell like vomit."

"That would be because a certain someone threw up on me last night." Batman said now forcing himself to count to twenty under his breath. 

"Well, then why didn't you take a shower?"

" Because, for some odd reason the plumbing hasn't worked quite right in the men's quarters ever since some one flushed a mutated snapping turtle down the drain. GL thinks that it is currently living in the pipes, subsisting off of rust and bathe water. And it was my good fortune that all of the showers are no longer working." Batman said still trying to work down his temper, but the utter shittiness of last night, coupled with the total lack of remorse from Wally was beginning to get him angry all over again.

"Yeah I remember that. Good times." Wally grinned as he remembered the turtle swimming away peacefully down the drain. Watching Finding Nemo while sloshed on Jim Bean had an adverse affect on Wally West, and none paid for it so dear then Mr. Jiminy the snapping turtle. "Why didn't you use the girl's bathroom?" Wally asked innocently.

"Don't you think I tried?" Batman asked as his hand went to his jaw distinctively. That blow was another one of his least favorite memories to add to last night.

"Well go back to earth, bathe, splash around in the sink, I don't care, but I just can't talk to you when you smell like bile." Wally said as he closed his eyes, the light of the break room still sent stabs of pain into his skull.

"Fine, but change into your Flash costume." Batman said as he stalked silently back to his room.

"Rightyo chief." Wally said as he stumbled down the hall, and entered his room. He took off his t-shirt, and jeans until he was left only in his lightening bolt boxers, and pulled a fresh spandex suit out of his closet.

"Hey Flash you owe me for last ni..." Hawkgirl trailed off as she saw the halfway naked Flash standing in front of her.

"Um hi." Flash said, his face turning the same hue as his hair. Hawkgirl covered her eyes with her wings, and quickly turned away.

"Don't you ever knock?" he asked.

"I have to go." she said awkwardly before hurrying out. He sighed as he watched her flustered departure and put on the rest of his costume. Why did he have such a hard time with the ladies?


End file.
